Why is it that the clearest perspective we have of life is often when we're staring down our own failings? I have learned from success, from others, but mostly I learn from my own knuckle headedness. Sometimes, perhaps to keep one honest, we are allowed to share those times with another. When that happens, what do we do: pass it off, ignore it, or own it?
Some mistakes are just embarrassing; the following story was one of those times. In this story I was one of "those" drivers. You know the type: the drivers that are, from your perspective, oblivious to the road around them. In the past (and still sometimes in the present) I have had my share of outbursts when I encounter a driver like this, typically to the tune of "Moron! Who taught you how to drive?" Having kids has tampered that, especially once I began hearing my children parrot back things I was saying. Someone would do something dangerous, and I'd hear from the back seat "Did you see what that crazy person did?" Katie and I try to take that that moment to flip the conversation. We'll counter with "You know, that person might normally be a very good driver. They may even be a follower of Jesus. Is it possible that we just encountered them at the worst part of their day or in a distracted moment?" What I rarely add is that driving decisions do not determine the persons worth or define them.
In my particular mishaps I had just picked up the eldest child from school. We were talking about the day as we drove back to TECH. Some days it feels like engaging a wombat in conversation would be easier than a 13 year old boy. This particular day it was easy. As we waited at a light we drive through almost every single day my brain was engaged in the conversation and not the light. A light turned green, but not my light. Cars started moving, but not in the direction of travel I needed to head. Yet I proceeded through the intersection, confused and honking my horn as those with the right of way swerved out of my way. It was not until I had made it through the intersection, miraculously untouched by the other vehicles, that I realized that it had been I, not the other drivers, who was in the wrong.
Once I regained the ability to speak, the first thing I said was "Are you OK?" It was then I realized we had rare a opportunity. My son knows the type of driver I am. He knows how far out of character that driving moment was. So after a short pause I continued "That was really stupid of me. To all those drivers we nearly hit, I was the moron driver. This is a perfect example that everyone makes poor decisions sometimes; that we are more than our worst moments."
We all have these moments, some more costly than others. We all have those days, some heavier than others. We mostly give ourselves a lot of grace for own foolishness; I've begun to learn I need to more readily offer that grace to others. Those I encounter in life are all, like myself, deeply flawed yet deeply loved by God. May He continue to help me, and us, see others as He does in all areas of life.
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